I guess this is the only place i can talk to when I'm feeling down. He let me fell real hard this time. Why must i find out so many stuff about him? why just can't someone be satisfy with what he/she have instead in search of someone better. It's not easy for two person to come by and be together. Why must he lie? Is it a kind of possession he need towards me or he just love to put his happiness on my misery? Is he the kind of person his mum was saying? I need to know what's he thinking about? I really want to talk to him so badly and settle everything once and for all. But I don't have the courage to face the truth anymore cause I love him too much that i could no longer control emotions. I cannot even face the end of everything for me and him.



p.s it's not easy to let go of someone who went through so much together

There are so much i wanted to say and how i really felt inside to him. But it seems that some things are not working out anymore. I don't even know if he wants me back because he love me or pity me. I only hope life was like before where we can really trust each other. Looking back at the photos we ever taken really warms up my heart a little because I felt the happiness in the photo. There is no way that all this can be taken as nothing cause this are the memories that are build up in our love story. Photos taken from the first day we have been together till now. I wonder if he still remember the days? We have not even finish walking the botanic garden together and explore the wild. Must god be so cruel to me to take him away from me? how can our love be so brittle when I thought it has grew stronger from day 1 till now. 2 years 4 months 9 days of love and hard work. Will it be gone like this just because he doesn't want to give it a try anymore. I hope he can think back of the days and think how much he really love me till now. my love for him has stayed from secondary school tilll now and i never felt it was a waste of time. I really really hope he can give it a try again and not give up. I just don't want him to message girls or go out with them without bringing me along. I dun wish to change something that we have been doing together for so long and ended up like a blank sheet. It wasn't easy for the both of us to be togther and walk through this journey but I believe that I willl stay till the end with him if we both do our part. Being together is just the two of us and why must it be so complicated. I wish life was much more simpler and there will be no more heartaches. I really wish we both could work it our and give it our best shot. Will he think this way too?